Let me tell you my story...

Dont blame me

2012-01-28T23:22:00.001+08:00

If one day, when i see it imma punch it real hard.

If one day, i might do Something very crazy just get rid of it.

If i cant stand being in the same room as u because of it

If i got pissed off and my heart beats thousand time faster whenever it comes across my day.

I tried to forgive it and move on. But it not doing anything to help. It got its head bigger and think it can own n control me.

It must die. It must. I kid u not.

Yes. I am very pissed.

sent from the jungle

Today's lesson...

2012-01-28T10:51:00.000+08:00

second best doesnt taste as good as the best.

Funny how from the attempt of typing a nice way to put that the C was not good at all. I wanted to say that finishing 1 bowl from that place was not as pleasant as CN. I wanted to say that i pity Pa cuz he didnt get a dose of CN when he was in Mks. But yea, its like that light bulb's moment. The best, is worth the wait.

I'm trying. ;)

Have a fabs weekend, everyone! :D
sent from the jungle

Letting Go

2012-01-18T22:37:00.000+08:00

Yes,
The memory of u still here with me. Every part of the house still reminds me of you.
I am still missing you and I'm still wondering why on earth you left us so early.

But...
I am thankful for your love and for the memories.
I am honestly blessed to have you as my Oma and no one else.

I think you're sooo cute! 7 pairs of scissors in ur cupboard among all other things! That's honestly very sweet and funny la.

I love you and I miss you and I am letting you go. Its a work in progress Oma and honestly the thought of you wanted to leave and you knew that its your time reassure me that you're with the Lord now. And we will be together again for eternity. Good deal, right?

:)
Powered by Telkomsel BlackBerry®

Bam!

2012-01-12T01:55:00.000+08:00

Oma,
It feels like ur still here with us. When I entered the house, the first thing I saw is ur picture. I wish we took more picture together. Sigh.

Went to aunt's place and for the first time since ur gone I entered your room. Feel so empty. so different. There's this different kind of silence that cover the whole place. I don't like it. I sat on your fave spot and starting to replay my memory on how u'd sit down n sing or just resting. I remember when I was a lot younger I'll pluck out ur white hair on that spot..

Oma, remember how u use to sing lullaby for me when I sleep with you? I miss that. I miss hugging you. Remember how I used to cry in the middle of the night for water n u always got up n tk it for me?
Gosh, I was a brat, eh?

I miss you so much and yes, I've said it over n over again but I can't believe that you're gone.

I love you :*
Powered by Telkomsel BlackBerry®

Well,

2012-01-11T02:08:00.000+08:00

The other day I was reading Radity Dika's latest book. Manusia Setengah Salmon. I honestly love his honesty in his books n how he knows how to tell his stories in a very funny way.

Apart from funny, u know that he's a thinker from the things he wrote. Some of it bring tears to my eyes and it got me really thinking. In other words, he's an excellent writer.

I was telling my mum about the book n she asked me back why can't I write down my own stories? little did she know if I ever publish a book about my stories, my family will most probable send me to outer space because I will eventually 'discredit' them.

I honestly dunno how Dika does it. To tell stories about his family to the whole Indo as something funny. I know and I got a prove that Papa will be the 1st one who'll kick me out from the house if I ever write a book about our family. He reacted so badly in OKS where its actually a good story even for his image. Ok, minus the illustration where 'pa' got moustache. That was not cool.

But yea, maybe I should try it a bit n see how they react. If they send me to the outer space, at least I'll be jumping around freely without worrying any gravity issue. Finally I can fly! Wheeee!!!!
Powered by Telkomsel BlackBerry®

Puzzle

2012-01-09T01:16:00.000+08:00

God is so faithful. When things got ugly, He comes n reassure me over n over again that everything's gonna be okay. That He's in control.

Its hard at times. I won't lie. Its VERY hard at times to pull myself up, to remind myself up that He KNOWS and He IS in control.

The message from Ps. Rebecca Greenwood in AGC earlier is like the answer of my questions from the night before.

Its like I'm putting up this puzzle. Instead of having all the pieces in one go, I have to search for it. I don't know what's the end result gonna be. I like to think that it'll be "Happy Ending", you know?

Every opportunity given, I have the choice to either find the next piece or at least try to figure out what's the current progress of my puzzle. I think I made a progress that hopefully will encourage me to push forward even everyone around me trying to stop me and discourage me.

Wow! Loving it when idea and imagination being used when I'm writing.

I was not in a good mood for the past few days. Can see from all the emo post before this. However, the peace of knowing that I'm not alone and again, He's in control, gives me a moment to catch my breath and rest.

Ok. Eyes are actually burning the whole day. Too much tears in 1 day.

Ps: keep me in your prayer. Thanks :)
Powered by Telkomsel BlackBerry®

Improvement

2012-01-08T01:05:00.000+08:00

I've managed to hold myself together for the past few days. So many times I wanna explode, I keep it together. Well, I cried tho. I hide n cry. Nothing I can do, and to be honest I don't know what to do.

How long can I take it? We shall see together.

*andithoughtthisshouldbeholiday.
Powered by Telkomsel BlackBerry®

Scooyoo!

2012-01-06T10:41:00.000+08:00

I've learned that being old doesn't mean someone is mature. U can be in your 40s n 50s n act like a bloody 5 years old.

Friggin grow up, will ya? If there's any problem, talk it out for the sanity of the ppl around u!

I realize that I can actually control my anger better. I chose to sit and think back carefully rather than straight away acting up like activated volcano with major damage around me. But how long can it last? I don't know. All I know is, I can't stand being around them. I just had to leave and remain silent.

I've done enough damage in the past n I am honestly sick n tired of it. But it looks like they enjoyed it. Idk what to do n how to pretend like everything's normal when they're not.

So here I am typing it all out to a so called my private place.

Guess it'll calm itself down n it'll go back to normal n suddenly the whole cycle will repeat itself. Jolly!

Pls keep my sanity in prayer if u read this.
Sent via BlackBerry from SingTel!

Terranova

2011-12-16T17:27:00.000+08:00

Is not that bad. Its actually pretty interesting. The jungle minus the dinosaurs and sixers reminds me a lot of back home.

Makes me missing home even more...
sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

Lesson of the Day

2011-12-10T16:17:00.000+08:00

There is no excuse for me to say that I'm not creative.
God is the Master of all Creativity.
To say that I'm not creative is borderline of insulting Him. I may not be as awesome as michael angelo, but at least I got the basic of it.

Ah... :)
sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

My tickets booked, no bags packed (yet)

2011-12-10T13:36:00.000+08:00

I've got my ticket out from Msia n Sg n Indo already. All I need to do now is to wait for the day to come and see what'll happen. I will go back to my parents and stay with them as a daughter-who-lives-with-them for 2 months before going back to be a daughter-who-stays-far-away-some-people-didnt-know-she-exist. :p

Good news is, I'm gonna spend approximately a month in KK. That's a good deal after being away for nearly 2 years . I miss my jungle. :)

2012 will be an exciting year. If all goes according to plan, It'll be an adventurous year!

So ya, anyone wanna follow me back to KK? ;)
sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

Summer break

2011-12-08T17:14:00.000+08:00

What to do?
sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

Black dot

2011-12-01T18:18:00.000+08:00

I am Preparing a song for my friend's exhibition tomorrow. The theme is black dot.

The skills getting rusty and I am not sure with what I'm giving out. I got the idea but as usual, putting it into words are not easy.

Huff..

sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

A sweet thank you gesture

2011-11-26T02:11:00.001+08:00

So here we are in Sana'a, 3rd night of shisha and chai.

We're just sitting n chilling n suddenly this guy came n approach our friend. He took this out n said thanks for the pen.

Well, its borderline creepy but sweet at the same time. The fact that he managed to made it out of a normal serviettes makes a difference.

On other notes, three nights in a row for shisha and chai in three different places is pretty cool. After 2 diff shisha, U n I decided to have only 1 tonight. Berry-mint. Yumm.. But I still prefer peach-vanilla. :)

Maybe...

2011-11-25T04:49:00.000+08:00

I am still denying the fact that ur not here anymore.
The reason why I choose to go back in January is simply because I cannot picture a Christmas gathering without you there.

I am not ready to go back to Mks and not hugging you.

I miss you. So much.. There were times when I dreamed about you n it makes me happy.

The hardest part is still waking up in the morning n realizing that you're no longer here.

sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

3 months break...

2011-11-24T03:36:00.001+08:00

is awesome. no assignments.

down part?

not meeting my crazy bunch friends for 3 months.

i honestly have the best friends one can ever ask..

dear all of you, you know who you are. life is never dull with you guys around and trust me, i am missing those who have gone back and i am so gonna miss you guys and can't wait for next sem to start! :D

dear God, thank you for putting all this people in my life for such a time as this. :)

Procrastination bites back. Not in a good way.

2011-11-18T04:22:00.001+08:00

What on earth am I doing at this time after 2 back to back exams?

More work...
-.-".

Can't wait for friday to be done.

On a lighter note, my lecturer put me in design team for e extension weeks. Silly dilly.
sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

I don't know what's the title

2011-11-15T05:50:00.001+08:00

But hey, for the past few days I've been thinking a lot on:

1. How great is our God
2. Why am I thinking so much
3. I wanna do so many things!
4. How great is our God! :p

Ah... From singing stars n whales to snow in the tropical.

Seriously, whoever said that You are boring and not creative need to go to the time out corner! :)
sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

I shall declare

2011-11-08T03:29:00.001+08:00

That in every season, You are in control.

I shall not be worry, cuz You are in control.

Now to put it into practice...
:p
sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

Saturday plan

2011-11-05T18:21:00.001+08:00

Earlier on this week...
P:'dudeee.. Let's work hard n sleep during weekend..'
G:'I can only sleep on saturday..'
P:'well, I can sleep for both'

Comes saturday...
F:'why r u still sleeping???'
G:'that's the deal I made with P..'
P:'yea, totally. We just wanna sleep today.'
F:'ok la, so we don't have to go anywhere'
G:'no.. We can still go out for dinner, rite? *looking at P*'
P:'yea, totally.'
F:'you cheapskates.'

That's how u got bday dinner treats. :p
sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

Third week...

2011-10-26T18:36:00.000+08:00

Since the first incident happen. More people died, as if the killer themselves are God and have the full right of others' soul.

Prayers have been recited over n over again. Pleading for peace, protection, revelation, agreement, you name it, they have it. Visions have been given, of a super sickening black cloud, other people praying while the crowd behind her is getting ready to fight 'til the end...

More killing. Attracting media attention.

How long 'til the day comes and everyone will finally realize that we are one?
How long 'til the day comes when everyone will finally realize that skin colours doesn't matter?
How long 'til the day comes when everyone will finally realize that love conquers all? Love beats weapon n even oppression?

When she said she's no longer scared, I am at peace.
When she encouraged me that God revealed things to her about the situation, I am pretty relieved for a second.

There's a great revival coming. There'll be great freedom for the people. Those who have misused the authority will not be happy with the result.

I'm praying for that revival to come. I'm praying for the touch of Heaven to shake the whole land. To remove all the pain, clean the dirty hands, heal bitterness..

Ex17:3
But I will make Pharaoh's heart stubborn so I can multiply my miraculous signs and wonders in the land of Egypt.

The fact that God is still in control gives me greater peace... That even in hard times He will not let His people lost...

Its been 3 weeks since I can't focus on anything but home. My soul grows weary and I don't like this feeling. I hate the fact that I have to wake up with bad news.

Again, the verse that we've been praying since last year in church about the women conference rings in my head...

"Who knows that you were created for such a time as this?" - Est4:14

Dear Lord, let Your will be done. You know it all. You know it all..
sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

I don't get it...

2011-10-18T13:43:00.000+08:00

Why are u guys trying to kill them??

Is it because of their skin color??

Do u know that they are actually the sweetest people ever? Their genuine smile never fails to brightened my days...

I love Papuans and I am papuans despite my skin color. I don't agree with the idea of 'erasing their race'.

sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

U r

2011-10-17T18:24:00.001+08:00

A liar.

U know what they said about liar?

Liar liar pants on fire...
sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

In my opinion,

2011-10-17T13:54:00.000+08:00

A good leader is someone who the people can rely on.
A good leader is someone with a vision in his leadership

A good leader is humble

A good leader won't make silly decision that will cause someone else's life.

A good leader will listen and apply two-way communication system with the people

A good leader will remember the pre-leading day and carry it on as a part of making big decision

A good leader respect the people

A good leader won't look down on the people. At the end of the day, without their support, a leader won't make it to the end.

A good leader will take action based on wisdom, not on power.

Once a leader have greater thirst for power and money than wisdom n humility, they are slowly turn into a villain...

sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

Evil human being

2011-10-15T22:38:00.001+08:00

Why r u killing people just because of their race? Who are u to judge n decide?
What will u do if its u who they're hunting to kill?

Again,
How do u sleep at night?
sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

7 in 2 weeks...

2011-10-15T22:33:00.000+08:00

Its not funny....

I pray that things will be revealed soon and justice shall take place over greed n evil.

Keep them in your prayer today. :)
sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

I have a dream...

2011-10-10T22:12:00.000+08:00

To go back to Papua n build a school there.

I want to see a new generation that knows their identity in Christ and actually leading their own people.
I might not be born as Papuan but I know that my heart is there. I might not be a Papuan by race but in my heart I am. And what's wrong to see my own brothers and sisters succeeded in life?

One day, I will fulfil my dream.

Papua, this is my promise to you. :)
sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

Few reminders for the future

2011-10-05T17:38:00.000+08:00

1. Under age children need proper education.
Don't ask them to work. Give them education instead. In the long run it'll bring better results.

2. Treat others with respect.
U may have a uni or a company, but at the end of the day u r a human being. Treating others rudely just because they're 'lower' than u is not cool.

3. Hire people who carry the same vision and passion with u.
You may be the next Einstein. You may want to change the world with your vision. You may have this real-deep thought on things. You may have the passion to give others a chance to express themselves. But when ur staff have their own individual agenda outside urs, ur wasting ur money n slowly destroying ur own business.

4. When things doesn't work the way it suppose to be, evaluate!
Maybe the program is not catchy. Maybe people see it as unnecessary program. Don't put the pressure on your staff just because your target audience have no interest on what you offer. Is it in any way going to enrich themselves? Or is it going to allow your loved ones a chance to spend more?

5. Love others
When you love others, you'll respect them. When u respect them, they'll respect you. People will listen to u n actually do it with a cheerful heart.

6. Diatas langit, masih ada langit.
Nuff said.

7. Season comes and seasons go
Make the most out of it. U'll never know how long it'll last. :)
sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

The truth is,

2011-10-05T09:38:00.000+08:00

I miss you. So much. We all do.
It feels like you are still here.
When the reality sinks in, it stinks.

The truth is,
There will never be enough time for us
As long as you live, eventually we want it longer
I know its selfish but just to see you, we know we're ok.

The truth is,
I might not be able to see Makassar like how I used to
You won't be there for me to hug when I arrived
You won't be there to hug me when I'm leaving
Your food won't be there as well.

But I am grateful,
Because I got a chance to grow up with you
To have you spoiling me like a little princess whenever I come to visit you
To taste your awesome food :)
To have you as my Oma. I can never ask for a better one.

I am at peace,
Knowing that one day we will see each other again.
I know you will be very pretty.
And forever we will be together and nothing can keep us apart...

I love you...
sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

I am not ready....

2011-10-03T16:43:00.000+08:00

To leave you.

I think the biggest fear from leaving u is the fact that i'll be lost n i can't really say u my home.

Sigh...
sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

To know...

2011-09-23T02:39:00.000+08:00

That You never leave nor forsake me.
That You are actually dancing for me
That You loves me and call me Your Precious daughter despite my flaws..
That You know what I don't know.
And telling me not to worry.

Is honestly the best thing in the world.

Thank You for loving me and never fail to reminds me that.. :)
sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

Your last picture...

2011-09-16T16:24:00.000+08:00

Taken few hours before u left us for good. I'm ok with the fact that u r in a better place now. I miss you. :)

Do u know that suddenly every food reminds me of you? Especially that ikan asin bau tapi enak and camba2...

I miss you... :*

__________________________
Image taken with Screen Grabber.
Download it free from BlackBerry App World : http://bit.ly/screengrabber_appworld
sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

I secretly...

2011-09-15T21:13:00.000+08:00

Admire my Papa. He may not be the friendliest man on earth, he may not be the perfect Pa, but his dedication to his works and his sense of responsibility always moved me.

He set everything for himself aside for his siblings and now for us, his children. He works hard to give us the best he can give.

Yes, I am not the perfect daughter who will always please him. I tested him so many times. I rebel quite a bit. I am as stubborn as he is to a certain level. But he always managed to forgive me. I love him. :)
sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

Feelin' crappy

2011-09-01T02:53:00.000+08:00

Gary is leaving today. I don't want him to leave that early. I kinda like having him around.

Feelin' crappy. :'(
sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

Dear oma

2011-08-30T02:04:00.000+08:00

I miss you.

:*
Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Growing up? Scary...

2011-08-09T15:02:00.001+08:00

Waiting for P at e hospital now. Saw couple of cute kids n we're talking abt kids.

We were talking on how when we were a lot younger we can't wait to get married n have kids. Well, if his life goes according to plan, he will have at least 1 baby by now. If my life goes according to my plan, this year I'll b busy preparing my wedding.

But nopes. Both of us r still in uni and realizing that marriage is actually pretty scary. I mean, having all the responsibilities abt u n ur spouse AND eventually your kids.
N ur kids will b with u til at least 15 years before they continue their education abroad. That's scary.

Don't get me wrong. I do wanna get married n have kids n all.

But not now. :)
Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Regret

2011-07-26T04:11:00.000+08:00

It is haunting me now. Its sickening.

I have decided to letting her go. I can choose to feel guilty n regret cuz there are so many things that I could have done to make her memory last longer in my mind n I didn't do it. But seriously, I've had more or less of 21 years amazing time with her. Its time for her to rest from this earth. She's in a better place now.
I will meet her up again one day and on that day, we will not be separated. :)

Keep me in your prayer. Thanks.
and one, two, 3! ;)

Tears...

2011-07-26T03:22:00.000+08:00

Comes n go. Since last night I've been crying for a bit then stop. A friend reminds me of a verse in 1st Thessalonians 4 abt grieving.

Growing up, I can cry for 1 week after e vacation just because I have to say bye bye to her for another semester. When she goes back to Makassar from Tembagapura, I will hug her dress just to feel like she's hugging me.

And now, she's sleeping for good. Her body is. Its cold. How can I not cry, then?

Let me cry for a while. I love her dearly and I know this is the perfect timing for her, I just need to let her go. Slowly...

I love you, Oma. :*
and one, two, 3! ;)

Creamy Chicken Soup

2011-07-25T22:04:00.000+08:00

I made creamy chicken soup for mother's day lunch few years back with chicken cordon bleu as a treat for Oma, Mama and my aunt.

She loved the chicken soup and honestly I am honoured that she likes it. We're talking about a pro liking an amateur's dish. :)

I made it from scratch and the last time I made it for her was in 2009. In KK.

I miss my oma. N its not funny to cry in e airport.
and one, two, 3! ;)

Wake me up

2011-07-25T19:54:00.000+08:00

And please tell me its a nightmare.

Mama told us that they found the perfect spot for Oma in the cemetery. E same Cemetery where her parents, siblings, son and grandson were buried. Ma said its e last spot available.

'She has given us so much, now its our turn to give her the best', that's what Ma said.

Everyone is doing little things here n there to ensure everything will fall into places.

I picked Gary up from his school this morning. His teacher was worried that its just a scam. I nearly told him that I am not a kind of person who will wake up 7 am n took cab at 8 am n go all the way to Cikarang to scam them. -.-"

After that we went to MangDu a bit to find shirts n few stuff for Gary. We're on our way to the airport now.

It feels surreal. I don't believe that this day is actually happening right now.

I'm so tired. Of crying. Of walking. Of sitting in a cab. I just wanna sleep and wake up with her sitting next to me, smiling at me. :'(

Will post up e pics soon.
and one, two, 3! ;)

Elly Tampi Rompas ( May 8 1940 - July 24 2011)

2011-07-25T00:12:00.000+08:00

My dearest Oma passed away in Timika like an hour ago.

According to my aunt, she was coughing n have trouble in breathing. Otw to e hospital, Oma said she know that this is her time to go. She prayed and passed away.

I was in the hospital when I read the news. I was with Ps. Indri, following her n her team to pray for a Dr.. Probably Oma's age.

Honestly, I don't like the fact that the last time I talked to her was on her bday. I hate the fact that she gotta be in Timika cuz I cudnt see her when I went to Makassar.

Oma is the best Oma ever exist! I can never ask for a better one and I am honestly blessed to have her.

Oma was born as the fifth child in the family. Her mum is Menadonese, Tampi, while her dad is Chinese. She was very close with her sister, Oma ay liang *thats what we call her* or also known as Oma salahutu.

Oma was e one who will hug me n sing chinese lullabies for me. She loves me so much and growing up, I will always cry for days after the vacation. Til another few months to see Oma again. :(

She cooked Tuturuga and honestly she's the best chef! I love her food! Her food are mostly chinese influenced. She loves camba-camba *dried plums* n she loves to tell me her stories while I grew up.

She had 2 husbands. The first one was a chinese fella, he passed away after 2 kids and then she met Opa, Jan Rompas. They got married and had 7 kids. But it doesn't matter at all. I always know that my Ma have 9 siblings instead of 7 n 2 steps.

Oma had a hospitality gift. She loves to cook n spoilt us with her yummy food. I will always sleep with her until my cousin Butet took that place. Holiday time will be a hard time for us because we all want to sleep with her. Often we ended up sleeping in the living room. All of us. Just so we can sleep with Oma. Of course, I'll be next to her.

She speaks fluently in Bahasa Indonesia and her mum's dialect n mandarin. She spoke to us in BI, manado's dialect to her kids and mandarin to her siblings.

I love her so much and the last time we spoke, she told me that she wanna go n travel around. I told her that we'll meet up for Xmas n she better take a good care of herself.

I was always hoping that Oma can be there for my wedding. I was always hoping that Oma can meet up with my future spouse. She always told me how Papa wanted to have a daughter as e 1st born and let my Oma to take care of her. Then I was born.

I am confidently claim that I am her fave granddaughter. Hahahaha

As a 71 y.o, she was healthy. Her memory was great, she had no teeth though. N refuse to use falsies. She loves daster n she loves to saves up for her grandchildren. Now she looks sooo tiny. Last time I always pluck out her white hair. Until the day when she told me she'll be bald.

Elly Tampi Rompas, 71 years old. Raised 9 children, 1 passed away. 23 grandchildren. Have lived her life to the fullest, setting the example of living God's grace and mercy for her kids n grandkids. She is a nomadic herself. Passed away in Timika. She prayed before she left for good.

I will miss her. I am missing her so much right now. I just wanna hug her n kiss her.

Oma, I love you. And Dear God, pls take care of Oma. Let her rest in peace with You.

xoxo
and one, two, 3! ;)

My baby is in high school now...

2011-07-24T00:53:00.000+08:00

Today I went to Gary's school. They had a ceremony to end the orientation week. Ma asked me to go there since she's not here and she wants to know how is he doing. It was a long n expensive journey to get there. :p had a good chat with the taxi driver and good power nap.

They said it'll start around 4 but knowing its Indo, I purposely tried my luck by leaving 1 hour before. :p God is good because when I reached there, no sign on the newbies. I saw lots of parents n lots of young kids. Siblings n all.

Around 5ish, I saw few of his seniors walked back. Covered in mud. 1 of them is actually walking not only totally covered in mud n hair spiked with mud n big sunnies, but he walk with what I think is a boxer. -.-" that view of few students came back put all the excited parents jumped out n all ready with their phones n cam n tab n ipad to tk picture of their kids.

I was charging my phone near 1 of e pillar.

Few minutes later, a pack of sheep walked n some of the parents thought its part of the script. Some of them said,'did they changed them into this?' Lol. It was funny n e sheep were cute. :)

And another few minutes later, I can hear a noise from a distance, a bunch of kids singing n yelling. I could see from a distance, the school's flag moving closer towards the school. I saw, I kid u not, a bunch of kids marching, ALL COVERED in MUD. I tried to find Gary and boy, most of them are super tall for their age!

Gary spotted me. He was leading the second group (each group is abt 20ish) and he was smiling at me. I read his tag 'menokai' and I can't make a mistake. That's my baby! :)

I actually felt so proud of him that I just can't control my tears. Getting all emotional and for once I feel like I'm a mother. To see him marching n giving instruction with full confidence. I can't be more proud of him! *yes, I'm tearing now*

Tried to keep myself close to him, followed the closing ceremony and just before they all got washed up, I managed to talk to him a bit. He showed me his new hairstyle. All shaved! Honestly he looks like a Chinese Army! Hahahahha...

They played 'You Raise Me Up' n I spotted few kids are crying. Boys n girls. Idk why. But the whole atmosphere is just so touching n I am honestly happy to see my brother smiling happily at me and I am relieved that he's doing so well in his orientation.

Well, there was a big truck with water n the kids washed the mud off from their clothes n faces. They were singing n yelling n 1 of their jingle was,
'Biar botak tapi keren' 'I'm bald but I'm cool" hahahahahaha....

N gary just left his friends behind n approached me straight away. As much as I wanna hug him, I still have a loooooong journey back n muddy is not an option. :p so we just talked. He told me briefly his experiences. He walked for 8km to e camp site n half of it barefoot. He went through the drain, and then he did 20 push up on a hot road.

He told me they had a lot of fun and they woke up at 4.30. Everyday. Met few of his friends. Funny boys. One of the big boy was crying cuz he didn't know that his parents r coming. I was hoping that Gary will cry when he saw me, but that means he don't like it there. He was glowing despite his muddyness. Hahahaha

He is soooo excited for his short trip to KL in 2 weeks time! Its honestly gonna b a good reward for him. :) after 30minutes, they had to go back to the dorm. I said bye and he told me to come next week. He's gg to lead the pack again.

I wish mama was there. She'll be crying as much or actually more than I do. Hahaha

Oh well, I am so proud of him n I love him so much.

At times like this, I feel like I'm honestly blessed with such amazing brothers. I told him, I will always be his gangsta. N yes, anyone messes around with my 3 babies, they are messing around with me. :p *premannya keluar*

Oh well, can't wait for next week! :)
and one, two, 3! ;)

Blown AwAAAAy... ;)

2011-07-22T02:31:00.000+08:00

I am actually excited to see my results.

I am honestly not a hard worker as a student. I'm the last minute type. But to see the result this time, I'm Blown AwAAAAy.... :)

Thank you Jesus. Though I was not feeling very well in the last few weeks of uni, You gave me strength! You are honestly the Best!!!

Now, next sem workload, bring it on! I am readeeeeeehhh!!! ;)
and one, two, 3! ;)

Thank goodness...

2011-07-21T05:10:00.000+08:00

That silly crush ended just as one of the silly crush in school.

'Maaf eh, kisah kita nggak pernah kesampaian'
A very funny but sweet n a bit cocky line.

I think we are better as friends. Thank goodness,,

Looking back at my list of crushes last time,
'What on earth was I thinking?'

and one, two, 3! ;)

Indonesian. Nomadic.

2011-07-20T02:53:00.000+08:00

Last month one of my silly arguments with F was about my hometown.

It's normal when you meet someone to ask them where are they from. Usually I'll say I'm Indonesian and if they ask for more specific place, I'll say Papua in a heart beat. F did not agree with that. He said my hometown gotta be the place where I was born. I was born in Soroako. A small mining town in Sulawesi. I spent like the first 2.5 years of my life there and I remember nothing. Except probably the part where I always cry when Oma went back to Malili or I don't know if I imagine things or it actually happen, my Aunt sitting in the middle of gazillions of cloves. That's all about it.

I moved to Tembagapura long time ago. Stayed there 'til October 1998 and moved to Kuala Kencana. Stayed there 'til 2004 and I moved to Darwin. Stayed there til 2006 and moved to Malaysia in July 2007. In all these years, for vacation as a family mostly we go to Makassar or Bali or for the past one year, Jakarta.

To be honest, I am considering myself as a Papuan. That's where my heart is. That's where I grew up. Forever I'll call that place my home.

So yea, I am Gaby, I'm Indonesian and I move around. :)

Petai, why are you so yummy?

2011-07-18T20:35:00.000+08:00

I've been eating petai ever since I reach Jakarta. I have my own season when it comes to food and this particular season, I am madly in love with petai.

And yes, I am trying my best to get my daily dose of petai while I'm here. :)
Sent from BlackBerry® on 3

How on earth do you do that?

2011-07-18T03:18:00.000+08:00

Do you know that I can never stop smiling whenever I see you or hear your voice or even when even your face appear in my mind.

I.Cannot.stop.smiling!

don't know how you do it and its annoying sometimes because I can start feeling this anger boiling slowly and when I see your face, poof! Its gone. I can't stop smiling.

That's when I irritate you more, when you wanna scold me but I just can't stop smiling at you.

I miss you. :)
Sent from BlackBerry® on 3

Wow

2011-07-17T12:04:00.000+08:00

Dear God,

You never fail to amaze me.

1 John 4:
" 17 And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world.

18 Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. "

Thank you for reminding me. :)

Love You more! Xoxo
Sent from BlackBerry® on 3

i can predict which aunty or uncle will have more kids soon...

2011-07-17T02:16:00.000+08:00

by looking at the last born in the family...

My youngest aunty tk opa's skin color. darkest among all. many people won't believe when Ma said that they're siblings. My youngest brother is the darkest among four of us. We were looking at his baby picture. He was sooooo cute. and he grow up too fast. :p

Most of the youngest kids from ma's sides are darker compare to the older siblings. To sum it up, we've decided our two uncles will have more kids. because the current kids are not dark enough. hahahhaha

we'll see whether the theory works out or not.

One thing I wish though, more than the dark skin youngest kiddos, I wish when I am married and preggo, my husband will be the one who'll get all the morning sick n all. Just like Pa. fair share, kan? :p

I miss you

2011-07-17T00:38:00.000+08:00

So much. :(

I hate e fact that I can't talk to you for e past few days.

Can't wait for tomorrow to come and we can talk all day long! :)
Sent from BlackBerry® on 3

I want a pool...

2011-07-16T20:43:00.001+08:00

Not a pool table. A proper Olympic size swimming pool. at least e length. :p

of course i gotta be super selfish to do that.

i don't like running. i like badminton, volley ball, basket ball n even soccer, but not keen on doing it daily. while when I get into the water, i just feel like, i'm free and as light as cotton. i can just float around and swim for laps and just get rid all of my anxiety. it helps a lot.

Oh well, if i can't get the real pool, that small pool where you can actually 'swim' for miles will do.

the pool downstairs is calling me now.

AND, my email account is on again. thank you so much E for being there when I was busy freaking out, I owe you one, dude *hugs*.

xoxo

Hacked account

2011-07-13T20:42:00.000+08:00

My acc got hacked. Its deactivated atm. Not happy.

I am not in Egypt, I am in indo. Safe n sound. :)

I rly rly hope no one got conned. :(
Sent from BlackBerry® on 3

I can be a monster

2011-07-11T02:47:00.000+08:00

Once a month.
Especially when u pair it up with nonsense around me, bad cramp, hunger, hot n humid weather n of course, like 12 bottles of water.

N I will slam it on the table because if not I will just faint. N no, don't throw a bf at me for doing all that when I clearly asked for help otw back.

I know its hot, ask me nicely for a bottle of water. If u don't bother to tk it urself n just ask me while ur throwing attitude at me while m not feeling well myself, I'm just gonna talk back at u.

I can be pretty nasty once a month, mostly I just kept quiet though. But test me, n u'll see what'll happen. :)

Other than that, I like to assume m pretty nice n friendly.

Love,
Moody me :)
and one, two, 3! ;)

How on earth,

2011-07-09T23:24:00.000+08:00

Can I trust u n share my feelings with u when I know that ur super bias?

At times I just want ur full attention. Just both of us.

I guess I just have to grow up, eh?
and one, two, 3! ;)

O, baby, don't u ever grow up...

2011-07-09T01:58:00.000+08:00

Its probably the anthem for this season. :)

Gary is off to the boarding school on Sunday. The boy who never stay apart from ma more than a month is finally leaving home. It reminds me of how Pa dropped me off to Darwin 7 years ago. It was a sad moment cuz Ma can't be there.
God knows what was the real reason.

N then 2 years later, Aldo's turn. A year later, Ma managed to dropped me off to uni. Just to send me to e hospital and left me there the day after. :p When I finished my degree last sem, me n ma were crying cuz I can't believe m done n she can't believe how time flies.

Now, Gary's turn. I'm gonna miss him a lot. And Jeremy entering primary 1. My brothers have grown up n I wish for a moment they just stop growing for a bit.

N having all this things gg on when one is having pms is not helping. :(

Ma is gg back on tuesday. Call me a spoiled bratz, but no, a week is not enough for me to spend it with ma.

I told ma, that what if I can't see her anymore after this? I mean, with few plans of staying further n eventually finishing uni (again) n work n got married. What if I will be seeing her lesser? :'( I want my mummy....

Then I told her, once I'm married, n I still wanna sleep with her, I'm gonna ask my future husband to sleep with Pa. Hahahaha... That's gonna be a funny one..

Oh... Don't let e pms girl bore u here. I can't wait for bersih tmoro. Wanna hear what's happening. :p

For now, baby, pls don't grow up too fast... :*
and one, two, 3! ;)

Dear Gaby,

2011-07-07T01:45:00.000+08:00

Be careful what u wish for...
Vacapopper!

On e lighter side, I realize that my story may sometimes feels unreal, but trust me, secretly, I'm an alien that comes from another part of the world and to understand it, u gotta come n experience it urself. 'Til then, m just that weirdo that comes from some jungle in indo. ;)

Ps: I secretly wish I can join them walking from mil68 to 50. It must be fun when ur with crazy friends. N I know for sure that pa will kill me if I join it. ;)

Sent from BlackBerry® on 3

Bandung-Jakarta-Singapore

2011-07-01T01:19:00.000+08:00

R e locations of the T's for today. M alone in Jkt, A decided to go to Bdg n the KB group *that's what I call them* off to Spore.

In Sept, the locations of the T's will be KK-KL-UK-JKT. Honestly, thank God for J. Can't imagine how 'grown up' e house will be without him. :)

I guess after 7 years being away, ur parents won't miss u as much as the first year. :p
Powered by Telkomsel BlackBerry®

A line that stuck in my head

2011-07-01T01:12:00.000+08:00

for e whole day is actually from one of Darren's song, 'Weather Endeavour'

'Do I love you, or do I love the thought of you'

1 simple line n it make sense... N its actually a pretty good question for me to sit n meditate on...

:)
Powered by Telkomsel BlackBerry®

Hello Makassar. Bye.

2011-06-30T01:07:00.000+08:00

I'm in Makassar atm. On my way to airport. Less than 48 hours in the city. Managed to eat mie goreng kering (cantonese mee), tausa, bakpau, sop lidah, konro bakar, terang bulan n martabak, n coto. In less than 48 hours. Packed ati raja with me as well. Oh, I managed to catch up with my dentist. It explains why I can't eat properly for e past few days. :p

What can I say? I miss e food here so much n with limited time, I am sooooo grateful that Kak Wawan spent some time with me for a foodie trip. He is officially my Makassar's foodie buddy. :)

I am going to spend the rest of e hols in Jakarta. Well, at least that's e plan so far. :)
Powered by Telkomsel BlackBerry®

My awesomely good Father...

2011-06-26T12:13:00.000+08:00

Gary sent this bbm just now

"Yesus itu baik! Dia tdk pernah berkata '' EPENKAH '' Saat kt mengeluh,
Dia tdk pernah berkata '' TES TO '' Saat kt mngalmi kgagalan , Dia tdk pernah brkta ''MELEDAK SAMPE '' Saat kt menangis trsedu" ,, semua itu krna YESUS mengasihi kt lebih dari yg kt tahu.... !!
Happy sunday all
Gbu:)"

:) happy sunday
sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

Now I can seeeeeeee you... :)

2011-06-22T01:44:00.000+08:00

decided to change e lay out of my room. Very slow progress n I don't think I can finish it by sunday. :p

I love to look at the moon n I've set my bed in a way where I can see it clearly. :)

sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

His mercy is enough

2011-06-21T04:43:00.000+08:00

Psalm 103:
13 The LORD is like a father to his children,
tender and compassionate to those who fear him.

14 For he knows how weak we are;
he remembers we are only dust.

To know that You love me with everything that I have. To know that You love me especially when I'm weak.
To know that You wanted me to be alive today.
To know that You feel my anger, my emo-ness n my pain.
To know that You know how weak I can be.

And to reassure that even through the hard times You'll be there for me,

I am blessed to have You as my Father, my Best Friend, my King, my Lord, my Jesus...

:) <3
sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

A week to go...

2011-06-20T15:37:00.000+08:00

Before I'm flying back. Next week this time, I'll be reaching Makassar. Still considering when to visit my dentist since now I got 3 days to spend. Oma won't be there though :(

Oh oh, I cannot waittttt..... :)
sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

Take me back to Darwin..

2011-06-17T01:37:00.000+08:00

And I'll take you to tumbling waters and spend the night under the stars. Literally.

I remember my last trip to TW with PDL kiddos. Term break 2006. We spent the last night awake. Under the stars. The night filled up with stars and we all took 2 chairs each n make our self comfortable n just chat n look at the stars. I kid you not, I saw at least 10 shooting stars. I don't need any airplane to make a wish. As a matter of fact, after the 3rd shooting stars, I ran out of wishes! :p

Sometimes I wish I can do that in dez.

The closest I can do now is gazing the moon from my window. :)
sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

And word of the sem is.... scroll down right to the end

2011-06-15T02:11:00.000+08:00

Ever since Z enter a710 n P intro us, he's been e MIA part of us.

He don't swear as much as the seniors in a710, he don't smoke n drink, n his fave word is absolutely stupid.

As in 'stupid'.

And he said that as much as possible that it actually spreads around. Now everyone in the house, including me, the regular visitor, use that word regularly. Comes to the point when we all watched KP 2 (highly recommended. Me n F wanna watch it again n again n again n again. :p) the other night at IOI, I kid u not, 4 of us takes turn in saying the word.

P left earlier. Stupid P. M missing him like mad now! Y can't he leave like next week or smth??

Stupid....

sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

Things to ponder...

2011-06-12T23:05:00.000+08:00

12 He will rescue the poor when they cry to him;
he will help the oppressed, who have no one to defend them.

13 He feels pity for the weak and the needy,
and he will rescue them.

14 He will redeem them from oppression and violence,
for their lives are precious to him.

Psalm72:12-14

United for such a time as this... :)
sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

7 years ago...

2011-06-12T20:05:00.000+08:00

A poetry. Bellagio choco. A promise to be bestie til death do us part. A promise to attend each other's wedding. A prep talk from u on how to handle boys esp. Since I'm leaving.

I miss u, I miss us. What happened to us?

But yea, thank you for being there through the darkest period of my life. Honestly idk what'll happen if ur not there. :)

Ur like a stranger to me now. Idk who u are anymore. To be honest, I don't like the new u.

Like in my dream, I hope we'll b able to talk once. Like an old friend. Just talk it all out.

For now, let me smile with the thought that 7 years ago, I had one of the best time with one of my best friend. :)

xoxo
sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

Students dilemma...

2011-06-11T20:42:00.000+08:00

1 month ago...

After watching Fast 5, the boys n me decided we shud watch Pirates, Kungfu Panda 2 n Xmen together.

Today...

All of us haven't been to the cinema since Fast 5. Wanted to do a marathon today but P n Z still sleeping. Went to Pyramid, uber long Q.

Me:'shoots... What's wrong with us? We're boring ad laaaa...like, 1 month no cinema? *usually we'll hit e cinema fortnight*'

F: 'we're not boring la. Its either we got too much work or we're broke'

Me:'yea... U got a good point there...'

sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

Thank you Blackberry!

2011-06-11T17:40:00.000+08:00

Blackberry is honestly the best thing ever made for my family! :)

Being apart from everyone for the past 6.5 years (1 month to go to 7 years!) Is not easy in terms of keeping myself updated with everything at home. Yes, we do sms, but it comes with a cost n no picture. I talk to pa thru email. While u got some parents like Aunty n Uncle F who always call their son at 1 exact time daily, my parents don't call. :)

Entering 2011, we're all BB-fied. Even Pa. Considered that he was e last one who got mobile phone in e house, it was pretty easy to persuade him to get a BB. :p

Its awesome to have everyone minus Jeremy in bbm. We shared pictures, chat a lot and e most important thing is, stays connected n updated all the time. I may not be there for Jeremy or Gary's graduation, but the pictures r more than enough. :)

It makes me feel closer to home. The distance between KL-KK (papua's KK) feels like KK-TPRA. Except there's no bis kerinduan and chopper. :p

BB, thank you. :)
sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

Mop dulu....

2011-06-08T00:53:00.000+08:00

Ada pace 1 jalan sore begini de baku tabrak deng bule.
Trus pace bilang,'I'm sorry'
Bule jawab:'I'm sorry too'
Pace balas:'I'm sorry three'
Bule de bingung jadi de tanya:'sorry 'for' what?'
Pace jawab: 'sorry for five'
Bule tambah bingung jadi bilang :'are you 'sick'?'
Pace jawab: 'no, I'm seven'.

:)
sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

Story of a beetle...

2011-06-07T14:30:00.000+08:00

G:'look! A beetle! A dung! A dung beetle!'
P:*ran out from his room?*'where? Where?'
G:'there! *pointing at e carpet* how did it got there?'
P:'they can fly.'
G:'but we're on e 7th floor'
P:'yea, they can. *brush e beetle of the carpet*'

.... Then suddenly they saw the beetle flew back up n heading to their direction.

P&G scream n ran into his room n she went to F's room.

after a while...

P:*open e door a bit* 'where is it?!'
G:'idk. Izit there?'
P:'no. Idk.'

The beetle's gone to God knows where.

sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

Mama has spoken...

2011-06-06T18:23:00.000+08:00

That's why I am beating myself up to start writing again. And this time it'll be longer than 140 character. And yes, that means I'll be updating MORE OFTEN in this page.

Twitter is fun, but its not fun to fill ur friends' timeline n I don't really like the idea of cramming as much info as possible in that 140 char. This blog is like the reflections of my journey for the past 5 years? :s so yea, let it be here.

I think fast. N I will have to control the things that I come up with. Some of them are not good.

N to end it,

I personally don't think I have the freedom of speech for now. It comes with a price. Sometimes, to speak up means I might have to put my family in a dangerous zone. Therefore, I will try my best to control my speech. At least until I know that it is safe for them when I want to pull some crazy acts. Its time to stop being selfish, I guess.. :)

So ya, my non-existence reader, u don't know what u get urself into... :p
sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

Today's thought...

2011-06-06T18:09:00.000+08:00

Ps61: 8 Then I will sing praises to your name forever
as I fulfill my vows each day.

So we've been teaching the kids at Kingdom City on the Power of Praise for the past 1 month. This is the word of the day. I often got trapped into my daily cycle that I don't praise God that often. When I got into the pressure of life, I often complain. I have to literally set my mind to praise Him no matter what.
Its not easy but its do able.

To praise Him for being faithful. To praise Him for the new strength today. To praise Him for another day. To simply praise Him for being such a loving God.

So yea, I've decided that I am going to consciously praise Him. Every day.

How about you? :)
sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

Freaky experience...

2011-06-05T19:10:00.000+08:00

So I was on the way to KC earlier. Took e bus to IOI n planned to take cabs from there. I didn't expect that ride will be a horror ride..

I do make convo with taxi drivers. Its always nice to hear their stories and u'll never know, maybe u can learn smth.

Not with this taxi driver.

As soon as I went to e cab, he asked me whether m Chinese or not. I told him m Indonesian n he refuse to believe. Can hear from the tone that he wants something 'more'. :s

I am starting to feel uncomfy. He asked me out n I told him no. I didn't even make any convo with him. The guy keeps on trying his luck.

I am sooooo thankful that e road is not jam. I am soooooo thankful that he didn't even try to make extra movement even though he was busy positioning himself.

I freaked out. My heart beating so fast its not even funny. As soon as I saw KC, I was relieved.

I have decided to call sunlight from today onwards. I will only take cabs from desa.

:)
sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

RIP Pak Dar...

2011-06-05T12:50:00.000+08:00

Woke up n received at least 4 different bbms and 1 tweet informing me that Pak Dar, my art teacher as well as homeroom teacher from YPJ passed away this morning, 4am(GMT7+).

He was the icon of my school. Ur not from YPJ if u don't know Pak Dar. He relates well with students from kindies right up to year 9. His favorite word is 'adalah' and he'll use that words in every sentence! :) He loves art and his paintings are awesome!

To have him as my homeroom teacher from year 8 to 9 was a blessing. I remember clearly, we used to played benteng as a whole class during class time when we got no teacher. The sporthall (during its glorious days) was our class room. We'll chill out there before class starts and talk to him. We'll persuade him that our drawing is 'abstract'. :) when the whole class got into trouble in year 8, he let's us skip e whole day of lessons (friday, so only half day) to calm us down.

During exam week, he will actually patrols around to make sure no students playing. He was in charged of Paskibra, the flag barrier team and he organised couple of study tour trips for students.

He actually care about us. Not only in class rooms but especially outside school. After we graduate, and even to our senior, when we come back to KK for holiday, he'll make sure we'll share our experience with our juniors. He was pretty strict esp towards the boys.

He got stroke few years back and start declining then. Occasionally he'll forgot stuff n this morning, he left for good.

Pak Dar, thank you for being such a great teacher and for all of the good times. Growing up will be different if ur not there. Rest in Peace Pak. :)

Bu Dar, Donny n sibs, my deepest condolences for u guys. Thank you for allowing us to share Pak Dar's kindness, love and also talents. My prayer will be with you guys... :)

sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

on brothers...

2011-06-05T05:21:00.000+08:00

Aldo finished his first year of uni, currently staying with me for a few days before he goes back to Indo for the long summer break, Gary passed UAN and will be going to high school (so fast?!) and Jeremy will be in primary school in July! (yikes!)

I am really blessed having three of them. Yes, they drive me nuts, yes, we do fight, but at the end of the day, whatever happen, we love each other. It feels like yesterday I left home with Aldo preparing himself to go to Bandung, Gary joined year 2, and ma announced that she's pregnant, which we asked her to make sure the baby will be a boy after she found out about it when dede' is 4 months old.

7 years... My brothers have grown into such an amazing boys. They have their own personality and react differently towards stuff. I am trying my best to protect them but in few ways they are trying to do the same to me. Aldo is taller than me now, which is good, and soon Gary and Dede' shall follow... :D

in 7 years, lots of things have changed, our relationships went through a lot of turbulence. I love them so much that I am willing to do anything for them. I love the time when we sit and talk for hours. I love the fact that I can plan a prank with Aldo, share my feeling with Gary (yes, 7 years apart doesn't mean you cannot get the advise from the young one. Have you meet Gary? :P) and I can always cuddle Jeremy.

Aldo will forever be my partner-in-crime. He is a young man now. I don't have to go to his class anymore to protect him. He can protect me now. He make the best Apple Pie and honestly, thanks to him I love cooking. The thought that I couldn't protect him few years back breaks my heart. The memories of us pulling pranks to others are actually the best. and of course, the street fight. hahahha..

Gary is like my counselor. I love to spend time with him just to talk about stuff. Life, family, boys, girls, anything. He understands me well and he is always willing to help me out. I can rely on him on giving me his opinion on things and also giving me the latest info about anything under the sun. Again, we are talking about a boy who won his first karaoke competition before he knew how to read. hahaha

In my mind, Jeremy will always be the 2 years old who wants me to spend most of my time with him, who won't let me walk alone even if I want to go to the bathroom, who will greet me at the airport after 1 semester being apart with his sweetest smile and warmest hug. Who will always cry with me when I cry and hugged me sooo tight. He will be the one who will approach me in any way possible whenever I enter the isolation mode in the house. The thought of that can never stop my tears come out. Even as i'm writing this. :)

I have 3 amazing brothers. They are smart, funny, good looking and ready to charm the world with their talents and big heart. I love them so much and having Aldo here with me, I want the other two as well...

I guess this is the time when I miss my family the most. This is the time when I am willing to go back to spend time with them more than 3 weeks. This is the time when I am ready to sync my days back into the family cycle, being present there physically.

Ah... 2011, a big year for the Tegouch Boys... I am being a melancholy sister who's not willing to accept the fact that her 3 brothers are growing up already. Being pretty sentimental.

have a great day everyone, and don't forget to tell your siblings that you love them! :)

To realize...

2011-06-04T01:59:00.001+08:00

That Your grace is enough for me.
That Your mercy is new every morning.
That I can do all things thru Christ who strengthen me.
Is a happy feeling. :)

Psalm48: 14
" For that is what God is like.
He is our God forever and ever,
and he will guide us until we die."

Thank you Jesus for loving me unconditionally. :)
sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

The End...

2011-06-01T17:56:00.000+08:00

At the end of the day, every great journey will have to reach the end of the road.

It was on a friday afternoon when I found out it was the end for me.
does it hurt?
yes. very.

to found out that at the end of the journey all you will get is just a slap on your face from those who you think will stand by u til the end, does it hurt?
yes. very.

But i guess i gotta grow up and move on, ay? :)

it's been a great time knowing you and i am wishing you all the best in life. I know that you will be a great person one day. I am sorry for the things that I've done to hurt u. I am not a good friend. I am indeed one of the most difficult person to handle especially when my mood is down the drain. thank you so much for putting up with my craziness and yea, I am far beyond perfect. :)

I love you. :)

Insomnia...

2011-05-22T05:26:00.003+08:00

I cannot sleep! :(
It's my 3rd week if I'm not mistaken. Going to sleep is actually a pain in e bum because to be asleep is an exhausting effort and to wake up is just an impossible task to do.
My eyes cannot stand it, my body crying out for bed but my mind refuse to work together with everyone else. :s
The urge to write is a bit too overwhelming that I don't even know what to write since mind is thinking a bit too fast!

So yes, Scientists, where's e gadget to translate brainwave into words? E next book might be born by then . :)
sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

Annabelle Amused

2011-05-20T14:57:00.000+08:00

Last night we had a makeup workshop at KL. I was talking to Tammy n Yvonne n suddenly Annabelle said this,

'It's so funny to see the three of u talking. U guys have Indian accent going on. I know both of u (y&t) are Chindians, but you?(Pointing at me) so cute laaa...'

What can I say?
I am Indian at heart? Hahahahaahahaha..
sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

I want...

2011-05-14T00:46:00.001+08:00

Ipad!
Can?

*mintadibuang*
sent from PurpleBerry provided by the sizzlin hotlink!

how do you sleep at night?

2011-04-12T16:53:00.000+08:00

I've been crying now and then for the past few days. Something happened back home and they took it too much this time. It's not another shooting accident, its more like a planned murder. It put the whole town into this fear of not knowing what's going to happen with their life. It is ridiculous.

When i first heard about it, I can't stop myself from getting so irritated and annoyed because the victims this time is not someone who's random. There must b a reason why they chose these two men.

It's not until friday morning when i woke up and heard the details. I can't stop crying both for the victims' families and whoever responsible behind it when I'm on my way to uni. To just curse whoever did it sounds like a good thing to do and that's what everyone else doing as well. But to know that they are also people and they might be in danger for doing so, they might have lost their humanity to agree in doing so, they might have got killed by now after they 'finish the task given to them'.

I am super duper curious at the moment to find out who did it. I want to ask them this simple question,'how do you sleep at night?' it's just that you took someone else's life in a brutal way and they are not even prisoners who received death penalty verdict! how do you sleep at night? like, how do you even look at your loved ones and smile? how do you even feed your loved ones with that bloody hands? how?

I am seriously hoping that God will speak to you and sober you up from whatever influence you have in your life now. Not even God will do such things la.. and we're talking about the Creator here, not the creation.

I hope that things will be revealed soon.

but seriously, dude,

HOW DO YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT?

alive

2011-03-27T23:38:00.001+08:00

I am alive. :)

so many things happened.

uni is awesome! i cannot ask for a better things to do right now! ;)

Yvonne and Arvin FINALLY married! hahahaha... it was a beautiful and heart warming ceremony at Cameron Highlands even though the weather is FREEZING!!!

ok la, i'm off to 'venice' now to plan an event there. hahahahaha

will post up more soonish. :)

bjz,
gabz

Happy Valentines Day 2011

2011-02-14T10:37:00.001+08:00

Happy Valentines Day!!!! :)

Its not a crappy day, you don't have to celebrate it with that special one. If you don't have bf/gf, why don't u spend it with ur family or friends?

Spread the love, people. Everyone needs it. Don't be so bitter about Valentines. Ok, they over commercialise it. So what? Look at it from another side.

I think its important for people to celebrate love universally. We have enough problem and enough things that stops us from loving one another. Just one day, to remember as human being, love plays a BIG role in our life, why can't we celebrate that?

It doesn't have to be the day where people will be sulking all day long because they have no 'special one' with them while their friends are there with them, through ups and downs. Can't share ur love with them ah? :)

Happy Valentines day. Today, I want to be nice to EVERYONE that I met. Everyone deserved to feel loved. :) what about u?

xoxo
sent thru ze yellow provider from le bebe

PurpleBerry

2011-02-11T22:43:00.000+08:00

I've always wanted a purple phone.
For the past few weeks I have trouble with the trackball.
Accidentally I lost that phone.
Usually after I lost a phone, parents won't give me a nice phone afterwards. God knows for the past 3 years all the phones that I have with me either belongs to Pa, Ma, Gary or Fadil. After I lost my phone during my first year in uni, that's it. No more.

But yea, just when I save up for a new bebe, PaMa decided to get me one. Its not the latest one, bt its still a bebe. Can still use it for bbm and all. Won't feel dc from my family now. :)

Its purple!!! When I open the box, I was shocked cuz its purple and aldo put other tones of purple as e protector.

It is no longer bebe for me. Its purpleberry...

Thank You Jesus cuz U know when to give... :)

Xoxo

sent thru ze yellow provider from le bebe

out of space. disconnected.

2011-02-06T03:11:00.000+08:00

So, I lost my phone few days back. I accidentally left it in a cab or fell down. I don't know. the point is, its gone the minute I realized it. :(

well, it didn't hit me until I feel like m disconnected with my mum. u see, our convo thru bb goes smoother than sms or call. she's not good at both of that. but with bb, its like a new and easier and cheaper way to talk. pics exchange easily and story comes out faster thru bb.

now? i don't really get any reply from her. mainly cuz sms is quite pricey back home.

point is, for the past few days, i felt out of space. disconnected from everyone. n that's not good. :(

fadil said that it's a bad post-losing-bb effect. yea. i admit that.

had that feeling before i lost it, actually. had that 'i'm gonna say gbye to this phone' feeling on the way out. :(

women, trust your intuition.

on the brighter side? the phone was not smth that pa bought. if he did, i'll b dead by now. n yea, the phone gone instead of the cash that i have with me that day. that was a huge amount of cash that i need to take with me to pay my rent.

oh well, til then. m dc.

bye. :)

Lumer....

2011-01-31T17:59:00.000+08:00

Sayang kamu.
sent from bebe provided by the yellow provider.

:)

2011-01-17T15:54:00.000+08:00

Kau buatku tersenyum tanpa perlu mengucapkan kata-kata manis

Mengingat dirimu, senyuman pun mengembang seperti morning glory yang akan secara otomatis mengembang di pagi hari

Kala mendung mendera, mengingat senyumanmu menghangatkan jiwa.

Raga ini mungkin tak bersama, tapi dalam senyuman, kulihat dirimu.

*sokpuitis*
sent from bebe provided by the yellow provider.

new year, big ? mark..

2011-01-12T16:40:00.000+08:00

i'm back in KL.

to look at that empty frame and dry bouquet still crushed my heart. its still painful.

'what's next?' everyone asking me that...

i wanna:
1. study
2. work
3. travel

yea, it all come down to that. in the middle of convincing my parents why i wanna take up another degree again.
it's been something that i've been passionate about and to see that i still have the chance to learn about it, i want to take up that challenge.

I don't want to realize that i can take that degree when i'm married with kids. that will be wasted then. by that time, i'll take psychology so i can apply it to my kids. :P

yes, i was not happy with my results. it was indeed the lowest throughout my school years. I was upset. but to look at the bright side, I am thankful that even though it sucky, it was all my hard work and tears. It was not someone else's work that I have to pay to get it done, it was not someone else's work from the internet that i need to 'co-pas' it.

oh well, for the time being, everything is still in a HUGE ? mark.

please keep me in prayer.. :)

much love,
gabz

Grow Up!

2010-12-31T18:56:00.000+08:00

'I'm not going. U guys go ahead.'

Like seriously. How childish 1 can be. n this is not e 1st time u do that. U did that before and ur doing it again. Throwing tantrum.

U know, when ppl invite u n u've said yes, its not polite at all to cancel it last minute. Disrespectful. U did that last time over a stupid matters. Just like this 1.

I still feel terrible bcoz last time u cancelled it. Now u wanna do it agn? Over my dead body.

N u asked ME to control my emotion??? Mirror, please?

Blargh
Tanah punya...

Satu...

2010-12-31T00:50:00.000+08:00

Tadi siang kami sekeluarga menjenguk adik Alm. Opa *pihak mama* di JakTim. Menurut mama, beliau adalah saudara opa yang paling mirip dng alm. Beliau sudah 6 tahun terakhir ini terbaring di atas tempat tidur. Stroke. :(

Pertemuan pertama saya dengan pihak keluarga disini. Begitu banyak canda tawa beredar di dalam ruangan. Terasa hangat. Salah satu anaknya Opa Wiem *i think that's how u spell it*, Om Sonny mirip Alex Komang. Oma masak krecek and honestly, it was awesome! :) Om Rudy sampe bela-belain datang. Katanya terakhir kali ketemu mama tahun 84. That's like, AGES ago, rite?

Dari pertemuan itu akhirnya ketahuan kabar saudara2 opa yang lain. Oma bilang, muka saya mirip Oma Bunga, buyut saya yang asli Bantaeng.

Akhirnya kami sempat bertemu dengan Opa. Beliau sudah tidak bisa bicara dan bagian kanan tubuhnya lumpuh. Saat melihat kami, beliau mulai menangis. :'(

Tangisannya menyayat hati dan saya ingin memeluk beliau. I wish my Opa is still alive. :(
Satu rahasia terkuak... Menopang rahasia-rahasia lainnya. Satu keinginan saya, untuk mengenal pendahulu-pendahulu saya lebih lagi. Hong Kong, Bangka, tunggu ya... Akan kujelajahi dirimu sampai saya puas dengan jawaban yang saya temukan. :)
Tanah punya...

thank you

2010-12-22T02:18:00.000+08:00

it was a horrible weekend.

super duper horrible and i wish i don't have to go through it ever again.

Impulsive action lead to bed rest lead to last minute packing just to get hurt again and finally decided to not give a damn about it lead to this day.

I can't swallow my food properly. i think and hope it's gastric, not something else. well, got a good news just now for the Spore trip and things slowly recovered. I know a pair of eyes will always look at me with that 'i am so going to kill you' look but you know what, i don't care.

If raf and fadil around, i think they would've slap me. if amy ever found out, she will join them as well.

but honestly, THANK YOU for being there for me. it was not easy and it was honestly uber low. it's one of the darkest moment of the year. raf found out after everything happened but he encouraged me with his own way. we may be dysfunctional and looks very weird to hang out together, but i cannot ask for better friends than the one that i currently have. they are amazing and i know that whatever happen in life, they will always be there to support me. i'll do the same to them.

Dear God, thank you for putting these amazing guys in my life. bless them and please give them more patience because it's not easy to talk to me when i'm in a horrible mood.

Empty...

2010-12-19T09:11:00.000+08:00

I feel like I wanna vomit, but there is nothing coming out. Burping all night long, sleeping is a challenge. As soon as I stand up, I lost my balance and my head start spinning around.

I feel like I wanna vomit, but instead of vomit, tears start coming out. Swollen eyes and ugly hair, it is indeed a disgusting sight.

Call me ungrateful, but I think my convocation sucks big time yesterday. Yes, I am thankful for it cuz I made it to the end, but no, I regret the fact that you broke my hearts and jump on it and crushed it even more and spit on it.

I was terrified, scared, nervous, in the border line of slapping meself cuz its all happened to fast. 'Which turn should I take' doesn't help me to calm down. It makes me furious. You know how much I hate it when you don't reply. I got upset n start tearing long before Ms Jo did it. I was alone. All my close friends either have graduated or will do so next sem. Yes, I do have other friends but this type of thing, u wanna share it with those who close to your heart..

Yes, I admit that our argument was stupid and I am the main cause of it, but when I asked you for apology, I mean it. I was totally shaking. The girl next to me vomit(!)
When I told you that I am scared, you told me that I don't have reason to be, that I am actually not scared but I am just as arrogant as him. There! You cross the line! You crushed and torn me into pieces...

Still, I tried to say sorry n calm u down. Apparently u don't buy it. It was VERY tiring and I was not happy because I have to come so early when I can easily come at 11.30.

I was not showing attitude. When I asked you to go together, I really-really mean it. That's one of the thing that I look forward to. You rejected my request and start saying stuff that hurts me even more. I cannot take it, I just have to walk off and let all this pain n tears come out. I don't even try to find my friends to take pic with them.

While everyone laugh til their tears come out, I was hiding there n try not to scream out loud. You hurt me again and it doesn't look like you're going to stop any moment soon. No one understand me or at least trying to. I said sorry way too many times but u keep on saying hurtful stuff. My self defense comes up. I said mean stuff right back at you.

I was contemplating shud I return the robe or not because that picture was not taken. I don't want to see you, though. I hate the fact that I feel miserable more than ever before. I return it in the end. I reached Desa just to see you walk out on that door.

I know I don't deserve you. I know that I ruin your life. I know that deep inside you hate the fact that I am here. You accuse me of so many things that I am not and refuse to hear me out.

I did something that I should have done 21 years ago but unfortunately can't get it done. Or it works slowly. Idk. But yea, that frame that I have in mind with our picture in it, is empty. It will never have our picture and I will try to erase and remove it from my mind.

The stomach is empty, I won't be surprised if I throw out and my guts comes out. The bag is empty, not even a single picture in it. The will to get up is empty, I don't want to leave this room ever. Not even to go n get credit or food.

I am crushed beyond any description. I am upset, I am sad, at times like this I wish I have the courage to go to the extreme side rather than curl up n die...

I love you n I hate the fact that the frame is empty. :'(
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Crushed...

2010-12-18T20:51:00.000+08:00

So today supposed to be a great day, right?

Well, it turned out to be one of the lousiest day ever.

Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone

My POV Sneak Peek for Kingdom Women Conference 2011

2010-12-06T00:53:00.001+08:00

I just HAVE to post this up. :)

So Ps. Jem is back and we had Kingdom Women breakfast this morning at Starbucks 3 Two Square, PJ. She was sharing her vision for the 2011 Women Conference. She was inspired on how Esther, as a Queen, use her feminine side as well as her authority as a Queen to urge her people to pray and fast and leading her people in it, to save them from death. Honestly, it reminds me of how Ps. David Storer shared during camp that God take the feminine side of men and form it into a woman and how powerful it is. It is not a sign of weakness, but it is indeed a 'balancer' *i create the word. :P * in human being.

So, what is it? A Kingdom City event? Yes. But it won't be exclusively for Kingdom Women. It will be for EVERY WOMEN from EVERY NATION who share the same passion to stand up together for justice and help those who are currently under a 'death trap'. Have you heard about human trafficking? Have you watch the movie 'Taken'? Like, where they take all the girls and sell them as sex slave? We have read it on the news on how few women from our country *Yes, Jem gave the statistics about women from Malaysia, but there's a LOT OF WOMEN from Indonesia too!* sent off to other countries as prostitute. You know what, they don't deserve to do that. They don't deserve to be treated as a sexual object. They are our sisters.

Jem shared the statistics on human trafficking, on how old their life span is *25-26 years old? Don't you think that's just a bit too young?*. How actually it brings lots of profit *for all the wrong reason* How they are actually happening around us, how human trafficking also includes under pay labour, maid who got treated badly, and so on. She shared on how these ladies were sent to Australia from as young as 14 years old to give a 'good time', how they try to make them pregnant because some of the guys have fetish on pregnant women and the baby will either be in the Black Market or being prepared to be a Child Pornstar, and how God hear their cry and want to save them and urge us, His people to take an action.

It reminds me of a saying from Sr. Lorraine back in SJC, it goes something like this:

"Evil will always happen until a righteous man stand up and take an action to stop it."

Jem said, ignorance, give chance to evil to prosper. We know that there are ladies and children who are suffering out there and what are we going to do about it? Are we going to ignore it? Or are we going to stand and say,

"No! this is not right! We need to stop this!"

This is what God has put in Jem's heart. I am amazed because at the same time everyone else being prepared to have heart for others. To carry the same vision, to carry the same desire, to raise an awareness and to response to what God wants us to do, is basically what the Conference is all about.

She shared that she have the desire to have women from all over Malaysia, all over South East Asia coming down together and gather as God's awesome daughters to bring impact in our countries. I am VERY excited about this conference. It will be on September 09-10 2011 in Kuala Lumpur. We are still praying for sponsorships and we will be needing lots n lots of help. I am trying to get as much as ladies from Indonesia to come as well.

This is not just another event where ladies will gather and worship God together. We have bigger goals here. To set women free, and to set women free. Emotionally and physically. :) To be UNITED as the ambassador of Christ to make a change in our today's world. The time is running and God wants us to carry His heart.

It reminds me of Franky Sihombing's song where basically he said,

"Give me a heart like Yours, a heart full of mercy and compassion

Give me an eyes like Yours, to see the harvest around me

Give me Your Hands, to do Your duty

Give me Your Feet, to walk in Your plans

Give me Your Heart.." (spontaneous translation)

So, you love God and want to share His heart? This is one of His main concern now, His children need help! As their sisters in Christ, it is our responsibility to help them out. Take this for example, if your siblings got into trouble, you will do your best to help them out, right? Well, they are our family. :)

Shireen said just now that she found out that the numbers of women who passed away from human trafficking are greater than the numbers of men who passed away in a battlefield. Ps. Jem said, even men got into human trafficking as well. There are lots of fishermen's body floating on the sea because they have been killed 'for fun'.

If you read this, I believe it's not a coincidence. Save up and make room for this conference! Ps. Sam Evans Senior Pastor from Planetshakers is coming down, as well as Ps. Debbie Prescott, the Prayer Pastor from Planetshakers as well. On that day, a representative from Tenaganita, a local NGO that stands up for the rights of women and migrants will be speaking as well as Ps. Jemima Varughese from Kingdom City as well.

Prayers and volunteers will be awesome and actually, this is the main thing that I am looking forward to in 2011.

It's just a teaser from my behalf. and I will encourage you to join us because hey, if Jesus hear them, why can't we help them? The time is running out, THIS is OUR TIME to take action!

More info will be given soon and hopefully the website will be up soon. you can contact info@kingdomwomenconference.com for more information. :)

much love and God bless,

gabz

To go back or to stay back...

2010-12-01T17:51:00.000+08:00

That's where my mind is at the moment. Oh well, apart from my wish that I can pass DP, e next step is freaking me out.

I wanna go back for a bit which means I need to check out, which means I need to find a place where I can keep my stuff. I wish they have that huge container that I can keep my stuff for a bit...

Idk.. Ma looks very busy it annoys me to bits. I wanna talk to her but it seems like she got not time for me. She'll reply my bbm for few times and after that she'll say wtv she wanna say n then she'll ignore me. -.-"

Fireflies' flat inspired me for generasi jenius. I am honestly happy cuz more ppl join e crew and even Ilona's dad is going to help. It is really amazing. I told ma that 1 of the empty unit at the new place there can be the kids' classroom or library. She said it has like 1 living room, 1 kitchen, 1 bed room and small bathroom. I wanna change it into e basecamp for them to come n study and all. With colorful paints and books. At least they can call it their base, right?

I wanna go back for 6 months, got an inspiration to write a small guide book, I wanna spend more time with the kids. Its one of my deepest desire to go back to Timika and help the kids there.

Idk... I wish KK-KL is like Medan-KL or anywhere closer...
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone

exercise? urgh..

2010-11-27T04:02:00.000+08:00

did i tell you how much i dislike exercise? I do. I don't really like it. I prefer swimming. that also I rarely do. :p

but for the past 1.5 months I joined this Body Transformation Camp and actually having a love-hate relationship with it. Noel and Herny are the most amazing coach ever! :) I like the way they train you and the way they motivate you. I am still trying to get the feel to it because trust me, even after like going to be two months journey with them, after each session I will still feel like Imma die! :P I lost my appetite and all I am craving for is just a nice fresh cold cut and juicy fruits!

In one of my first few times going there, Noel told me that in reality, not many people like exercise. However, we need to push ourself. He also said that he can encourage us and make this program, but then whether we want to take it seriously or not is totally up to us. I feel guilty. :(

I am still adjusting myself with the program. Yes, getting there on time is an issue for me at the moment. no matter how 'smart' I am planning it, still I will be late most of the time. :( however, I can see results slowly but sure.. my jeans, is slowly getting loose, few of my friends can see that I have lost few kg, it's not that significant yet but hey, at least it's showing some progress, rite?

I can't say that I am happy that exercise day is coming again, but I am happy and looking forward for the results and with that, I am willing to go through this journey. Yes, the pain will be there and I won't lie to you that I dislike crawling and burpee, but I am looking forward to do it better. :)

This is not a 'follow all the rules or else I'm gonna make u suffer if you don't do it' camp, it's a 'we are together in this' camp. Noel actually takes his time to send once a week email and guide us to live a healthier lifestyle. No scam, no hidden purposes, everything is genuine. Man.... if the guys at the Bigges Loser got Noel and Herny as their coaches, they will be awesome faster in no time! :p

So, wanna join us? :)

uni is over....

2010-11-21T05:20:00.001+08:00

and I am sad. :(

but... on the other note, I have decided to go back and celebrate Christmas with my family. I think after skipping last year's Xmas with MaPa and AlGeJer, I miss them. Of course I'll be having this weird vibe of having to synch back with them, but after all, they are my family, eh? :)

After 6 years, I think they are used with the fact that I'm not there anymore. :p Only Jeremy wants me back and he keeps on asking me when I'll be back and all. Honestly, I feel very sad cuz I feel like he's growing up too fast and I've missed a lot on him! :(

I wanna go back for like 6 months to spend time with him, but packing up and everything will be a hassle. :s and confirm Pa will nag on how I need to find a job and all.. but we'll see how. :)

Ma is coming down for my convocation and I am actually find with it now. Of course I want Pa to come as well but if he don't want, no need rite? I mean, look at it this way, I can go and do crazy stuff with Ma. Not that she's crazy, but yea, she's more outgoing in that sense. :) I will most probably go back to Indo with her and Aldo, spend Xmas in Makassar and hopefully I can join the family trip. Pa wanna go to Jakarta for New Year and then Singapore for two or three days afterwards. Usually they'll take Jeremy with them but this time they said we can join as well. :)

oh well, mixed emotions right now. I miss oma and ma and jeremy and gary the most. well, I miss Pa as well. :P

visiting my dentist is a MUST. *I convinced ma and pa that me having braces for 8 years is NOT GOOD*

*updates*

exactly 4 years ago, I had the same mixed emotions.. guess the feeling never change, eh? :)

Mike&Molly, thank you.

2010-11-13T05:38:00.001+08:00

So I was feeling down and honestly ended up being a hulk and embarrassed myself in front of this bunch of freshies, ended up screaming on the pillow cuz it's just that one of that day where everyone just putting a bit too much effort in ur personal problem that i am still wondering why does it even exist on the first place, anyway.

what's the cure of it? a good laugh. I found Mike&Molly and they made me laugh. Its either me who's going cuckoo now, or it's really funny. idk.

what's your cure for bad mood?

Gaby, when you are about to turn into Hulk, read this.

2010-11-13T05:21:00.001+08:00

STOP IT!

..............

else you'll regret it. Like NOW.

and if you are reading this and happen to be a friend or someone who's trying to push my limit, please don't do it. for the love of humanity, for the love of sanity, for the love of life and that cute lil' puppy,

STOP IT!

and if you happen to push the button and I turned into Hulk, follow this step:

1. SHUT UP if i ask you to do so

2. DO what I asked you to do

3. LISTEN when I am talking

4. ask me to read my blog again, the one about being Hulk.

cuz i don't like being pushed about something things that don't actually exist. If I don't wanna talk, it's because I am figuring things out and trying to calm myself so I can talk properly. Please, don't push the button. It won't look pretty and I will feel even more miserable afterwards.

But yea, if that's what you want, that's what you are actually looking for, ask this to yourself,

are you happy now?

Let me tell you my story...

Dont blame me

Today's lesson...

Letting Go

Bam!

Well,

Puzzle

Improvement

Scooyoo!

Terranova

Lesson of the Day

My tickets booked, no bags packed (yet)

Summer break

Black dot

A sweet thank you gesture

Maybe...

3 months break...

Procrastination bites back. Not in a good way.

I don't know what's the title

I shall declare

Saturday plan

Third week...

I don't get it...

U r

In my opinion,

Evil human being

7 in 2 weeks...

I have a dream...

Few reminders for the future

The truth is,

I am not ready....

To know...

Your last picture...

I secretly...

Feelin' crappy

Dear oma

Growing up? Scary...

Regret

Tears...

Creamy Chicken Soup

Wake me up

Elly Tampi Rompas ( May 8 1940 - July 24 2011)

My baby is in high school now...

Blown AwAAAAy... ;)

Thank goodness...

Indonesian. Nomadic.

Petai, why are you so yummy?

How on earth do you do that?

Wow

i can predict which aunty or uncle will have more kids soon...

I miss you

I want a pool...

Hacked account

I can be a monster

How on earth,

O, baby, don't u ever grow up...

Dear Gaby,

Bandung-Jakarta-Singapore

A line that stuck in my head

Hello Makassar. Bye.

My awesomely good Father...

Now I can seeeeeeee you... :)

His mercy is enough

A week to go...

Take me back to Darwin..

And word of the sem is.... *scroll down right to the end*

Things to ponder...

7 years ago...

Students dilemma...

Thank you Blackberry!

Mop dulu....

Story of a beetle...

Mama has spoken...

Today's thought...

Freaky experience...

RIP Pak Dar...

on brothers...

To realize...

The End...

Insomnia...

And word of the sem is.... scroll down right to the end